Mediterranean

My parents are an interesting bunch

One thing you may get growing up in a Mediterranean country is that your parents never shut up. They will talk, constantly, with no end in sight. Sometimes about the most smallest things, there will be elaborate commentary. There is no restriction to the kind of topic. Any and every observation will be announced. They will constantly talk, assume that you’re listening, always expect a reply even if it’s a simple “sure” or “yeah”.

I contrast this to when I meet the parents of a British partner and it’s a night and day difference. Very minimal conversation if any, maybe because they don’t want to come off as too prying. Still sweet and kind as Mediterranean parents, but it’s a different default state that they’re in. Is this genetics? Environment? I have no clue.

If it’s genetics, then me and my sibling are clearly out of distribution.

I found myself most being able to work in cafes and the metro. It was very weird. Like the lack of background distraction is sufficient to throw me off.

This causes me to focus on my internal state more, to think through thoughts better? A state of “oh this is boring/menial, let’s see what’s happening inside”. And I think better.

Compared to when I’m by myself. In which case I end up distracting myself with the internet. But if it’s semi-consensual or outright non-consensual? I become more internal. Better thinker. To some degree of course, the background irritation occurs that builds up over time.

But something similar also happens when I have a friend just chilling with me. Even moreso if they’re not doing any particular work, instead reading a book or playing a game. Then my ability to think about work increases significantly. I think something similar also happens when I have a pet with me, a cat just chilling/sleeping on the floor, seeing her expand and compress, just hanging out where she is. Something extremely soothing about this, and also allowing me to think. No rush, no concern. Just doing whatever work I need.

Why is this?

There are potential problems with this of course. One particular issue is that having to rely on this externality is annoying. It’s a form of restriction, one that I’d ideally not have. But besides that, what does this lead towards?

What is it that these distractions do? The joy and hum of life continuing.

My mum says I was a deeply bored child growing up in the UK. I would voraciously consume books. Try all sorts of scenarios with my lego.

What is the ideal state? Some state of annoyance? Getting a cat? Talking/videoing myself for at least 10 minutes every day? What is the solution here? Some balance?

In the office I also work well, but definitely most when I know my screen cannot be seen. Even if I’m always working during that period. Something about having my screen seen feels icky. Why?

Once you go cosmopolitan and you see the world and all of its cultures, it becomes hard to decide what the baseline is, doesn’t it?